Thoughts and Reflections
by kusuwa
Summary: Davis takes sum time to think about life, his friends and why he's neva really apreciated..rated for swearing,slight OOC
1. Thoughts

Here I am with another terrible fic Thanx for the dismal amount of reviews i got on my other story.although most of them were flames they really helped improve this one( wat improvement?!!! ) and my brother evn reviewed( dats chiko) and he nicely flame grilled my fic.oh well hope this one is to ur liking.  
  
--Thoughts and Reflections--  
  
I'm not stupid  
  
I just don't try. Why should I? No body would care. They don't even care now, all they do is fuss about how Tk does this and Tk does that, they never look past him. Never look past him and look at me.  
  
I did try once, I got praise from no one, not even my digimon, they all said that Tk could have done it better. Sometimes I get sick of it. Like now, I'm sitting here taking all of the insults in. They are acting like I'm not even there. I feel like screaming, maybe I should that would shut them up wouldn't it.  
  
So I do  
  
And they do  
  
A smile inwardly at the silence I've created. Tk is looking at me funny. I bet he never expected me to rebel against him.  
  
No ever expects me to do anything.  
  
I guess I should say something, but what. Kari is starting to snap out of the trance they were all in. She looks mad, I wonder why it's not like I did anything wrong.all I did was defend myself, sorta, I think. Maybe screaming wasn't exactly a good thing.  
  
I think I can hear Hikari ranting about me again and I think I don't really care. Is that bad? I think I'm gonna walk away. I can hear them calling after me. Every one is actually acknowledging my presence for once.  
  
Ain't it great?  
  
I know their gonna really hate me for what I'm doing.but I've decided I don't care about them. Let them whisper behind my back. Tell everyone at school that I'm no good.everyone already thinks that anyway.  
  
Does this sound suicidal? I'm thinking it does, oh well all the better for me right. I think I'll go to bed and think about this tomorrow. That's a good idea.I think I'll do that  
  
It's tomorrow now.I mean today but yesterdays tomorrow. I'm thinking bout what happened yesterday as I skateboard to school. They'll want me to explain. I won't. Why should I? It's not like they can kick me out of being a digidestined and stop me from seeing veemon. all they can do is stop being my friends, and that wont be hard cause they never were. Maybe Ken was.Ken tried anyway. We were friends for a while but then I screwed it up. Like I do everything. I went into my shell and Ken got fed up with trying to reach me.  
  
There they are.all of them. They even dragged the elder chosen into this. I hope Tai isn't too disappointed in me. I take a deep a deep breath and walk over to my locker where they're waiting for me. They all start bombarding me with questions.all except Tk. I feel my eyes narrow in suspicion. He can't understand, can he? A wave in front of my eyes wakes me up from my thoughts.  
  
" Are you even listening to me?" I hear Kari yell.  
  
I don't reply. I squeeze in to try and reach my locker.a buzzing sound signals the start of classes. Good now I've got an excuse to leave. My first class is with none of the other chosen, another reason why I love art. Apart from being exceptionally good at drawing, art gives me a chance to think about things without the others constant bickering to me.  
  
Maybe I'll talk to them at lunch.maybe.  
  
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there we go...luved it, hated it, tried to burn it, lord knows I nearly ate it plz review  
  
thanks in advance kusuwa 


	2. Reflections

Yay.I got 4 whole reviews and none of dem were flames.tanx to all of u espically surgedragon-I'm pro davis 2..besides tai hes my fav, then after them is matt matt ikazou-tanx for the tips.I'll put them in my next chap cuz I was already nearly finished this chap when i read ur review and I'm 2 lazy to write agin Oricle-- Scrtshd--- kinda hard to say ur name.exactly wat I'm going four( not really I don't have a plot I'm just writing this as I go along)  
  
I don't really know how the schooling system is in japan or America or wherever so I'm doing this like it is done here..we get to school we have roll call/first period-4th then a break of like 20mins then we have 5th and 6th then lunch and then 7th and 8th I took long to load this one up cuz I needed more than one review.I had half of it finished when matt reviewed( on the 27th of oct) so if I missed anyone sorry, I'll mention u in the next chap  
  
--Thoughts and Refelctions- part2  
  
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The lunch bell rings, and I know I'm in shit.  
  
My "friends" have been sending me glares all day. I've been ignoring the notes that have been sent my way and every time they try contact me in the halls from class to class I rush off and leave them behind.  
  
But what can I say or do for this  
  
I can't really hide from them this time. So I guess I'll have to do it, even if I avoid them now.I'll have to face them sometime. Better now than later right. Please.I'd really, really want to do this later.  
  
I turn to leave the cafeteria.  
  
"Davis, Davis over here!"  
  
Damn! Why'd Ken have to have such good eyesight?  
  
As I walk over to them and I see that, once again they brought the elder ones. Shit, this is gonna be difficult.  
  
Come on Davis you can do this! What can they do to ya man? Nothing! That's what? Nothing.  
  
I'm REALLY trying to psyche myself up.and it's REALLY not working.  
  
Shit, this is gonna be difficult.  
  
"Ya?" I'm so fucking glad that my voice sounds nonchalant even though I'm really quivering inside.  
  
"What was up with you yesterday?" There's Yolie, never one to beat around the bush  
  
"Umm.Ya about that, you see it like this I was ju-"  
  
"You completely lost it! I mean we always knew you were screwed up but no need to make it common knowledge!" and once again Kari's input is more important than mine.  
  
" Look, fuck you, Hikari, If you never wanted me to talk why did ya call me over" I nearly yelled, by now all the room's occupants were staring at us. " I don't have time for this shit." I mumbled the last bit as I turned about and walked away.  
  
I heard footsteps behind me. I twirled around ready to throw all sorts of censored words, when I came face to fist with a.well a fist.  
  
I grabbed the bridge of my nose and looked up to see Tai cradling an angry red hand. I never really expected Tai to punch me, Matt maybe, TK probably, Yolie most likely.I mean she's more man then woman. But Tai! What I do to piss him off.  
  
"Sorry Davis, just don't ever swear at my sister again!" He was now rubbing his knuckles as if readying for another punch.  
  
SHIT! Tai is the only one stupid enough to punch for a reason like that, damn over protective brother.  
  
He's walking away and I'm standing hear holding my throbbing nose. I feel my feet moving but I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm charging at Tai chi's back and now I thinking I'm getting my drift. I stoop down low while running and  
  
BAM!! Contact! That's how you tackle a person, punch me will he? Well there I showed him.  
  
Now in normal circumstances I was a good fighter, but these weren't normal, Tai was a whole 2 years older than me, a whole lot stronger, faster, bigger and smart-well maybe not smarter.  
  
Needless to say I got my ass kicked.badly  
  
I'm now thinking how much I hurt as I walk home.even my hair hurts, probably when he was lifting me up by it. Home is a good place to be, good thing my parents are working late, good thing my sister doesn't care that I've been beat up badly.I don't really feel up to talking right now, my jaw hurts too much  
  
As I enter my room and turn on my digital planner to see what stuff I have for tomorrow I see, in big bold digital writing, SHORT STORY OR POEM FOR FRIDAYS ORAL.  
  
Shit, I've known about this for weeks but I don't have any idea what I'm gonna write about.  
  
OWW!  
  
Man Tai really messed me up, BAKA  
  
I'm not really mad at him, I'm not really angry at any of them. Just tired, tired of all of them thinking I won't understand, that I wont even care. Tired that they think I'm not worth the effort.  
  
I AM ANGRY AT THEM  
  
Aren't they meant to be my friends, don't their crests do anything to the way they treat me.  
  
It hurts.I hurt. I'm just they're way to vent out anger and frustration. They don't care about the pain I feel. So much pain  
  
I know what I'm gonna write now.this oral is meant to be personall, not about what sport we like or what our favourite food is, but something deep and soulful  
  
I know exactly what I'm going to write, I just need the courage.  
  
***tbc**  
  
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I sorry to matt, I wont be putting ur tips in my next chap cauz it's going to be on the oral davis writes. I've already written it so it should be fairly quick, though I need at least 2 more reviews (hint hint), someone reviewing twice is perfectly acceptable (I'm sad I know, but I need those reviews) Sorry it took awhile, but I only really write when I'm bored or in the mood and normally I have to much school,sport or tv ( to watch.  
  
Anyway plz review..weather u loved it hated it or is currently tryin to rmove it from ur memory  
  
kusuwa 


	3. the 'and' in between

thanx to everyone who reviewd and had patients, I know I hate it when the  
stories I'm reading don't get a lot of updates, I didn't get 1 flame.does  
this mean I'm getting better or the flamers are getting worse( I hope it's  
both) anyway here is the next and last chap of thoughts and reflections  
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Thoughts and Reflections  
By Daisuke Motamiya  
Pain is always there  
Its been there when I've hurt  
Been there when I've cried  
If pain weren't there I would have thought I've died  
Pain comes when I think about my life  
About how I strive  
Not to use this knife  
This blade  
This rusty blade  
My ever so trusty blade  
Pain comes when I'm in anger  
I'm angry a lot  
Angry at angels  
Bloody angels should be shot  
Angry at hope,  
Light, kindness, knowledge, love  
Sincerity, reliability, courage, friendship  
All of the above  
Angry at miracles, they never happen to me  
Angry at this pain that wont ever leave  
Pain comes when ask questions  
It comes when I give answers  
It comes when I remember  
Sections  
Of my life  
Pain comes when I speak, talk  
Comes when I run, walk  
Pain is always there  
Pain is always there  
Its been there when I've hurt  
Been there when I've cried  
If pain weren't there I would have thought I've died  
These are my scars my emotions, my wounds and my notions  
My soul my heart,  
My ends my start  
These are my directions of life, my questions  
These are my thoughts and reflections  
  
End  
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Thanks again to everyone that reviewed, I know this poem should be called  
pain and stuff like that but I kinda thought hey if the story and the poem  
titles are the same wouldn't it be cool,  
at first the poem wasn't meant for this but I like it and I wanna post it,  
just not in a different story  
anyway thanx again  
kusuwa 


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